Here's What I Know

I'm 18 years old. I've had 18 years to learn a lot of things.

I know the quadratic formula. I also know which letters are vowels and which ones are consonants. I know how to play "Ode to Joy" on the piano and I know how to sing "On My Own" from Les Mis almost perfectly. Well, at least I think so.

I know what I want to be when I grow up, I know who I have feelings for, I know that I'm going to cut my hair and donate it to Locks Of Love at the end of summer.

I also know that people leave. They stop caring, no matter how many times they tell you they'll love you forever. People leave. Maybe that's just me, or maybe that's just the people I happen to fall for. But regardless, they leave. They stop caring. They avoid you. And you end up back where you started: as strangers.

I know I can write a short story in record time (whether or not its decent literature is subjective). I know that I ended my senior year with a cumulative 3.38 GPA and I know that I'm very excited to attend Towson in the fall.

I know that I've been in love twice. I know that each time it ended... poorly. I also know that I will always love them. I know that being in love is one of the best feelings in the world because it feels like you're on a cloud and the only person in the whole world is them. They're what holds you up and vice versa. But it hurts. That's why it's called falling.

I know what panic attacks feel like. I know that it feels like I'm drowning and it feels like the air in the room has evaporated into nothing. I know that when someone gets them as frequently as I do, it can take a toll.

I know that Glee is one of the worst television programs ever. I also know that I'm obsessed with it. Yes, I'm a closet Gleek.

I know some conversational German along with a lot of the grammatical stuff.

I know that someday I'm going to be a performer. The best times of my life so far were spent on stage and I plan to spend the rest of my life on one.

I know that things will get better because they did. Junior year was hell and when senior year came along, it became better. Things just got brighter. And yeah, things still suck a little bit. But each day it gets brighter. The sun comes up and the moon comes up and each one is just as bright as the one before it. Each day is new and maybe not every day will be light. But even on your darkest day, you have to remember that tomorrow will be better.

I may not know how to change a tire, or how to sew a sweater. And I may not know how to solve differential equations (or anything about Calculus at ALL). But here's what I do know. People may leave, but someone or something new always comes along to fix that hole that the previous person left on you.

I hope this wasn't too corny. Or depressing.

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