Horrible Day

Yes.
That's pretty much it.

I'm in a pissy mood and it's everyone else's fault. I was freaking out last night because I can't effing handle my AP world class. I just can't. Then I started realizing that I was planning on taking 2 ap's next year. I started crying and hyperventilating because I just can't handle it. Then I started thinking about how I was going to be disappointing my dad because he just kind of expects it of me. I'm EXPECTED to be able to handle it. But I can't. So then I had a full blown panic attack and it took Kait about 15 minutes to calm me down. Then this morning when I told my dad that I was taking CP, I could tell I'd disappointed him and I started crying again. I ran upstairs and sobbed silently as I was brushing my teeth.

Then Jeff got to my house late. Again. I don't know why he keeps coming late. He's always at my house between 6:53 and 6:57. Lately he's been showing up at 7:03.

Then school was just...awful. Here was my day:

Homeroom- talk to Kait & Charlotte. Go to homeroom and sit there.
APWH- barely paying any attention and missed a bunch of notes.
Bio- took a benchmark test. It was easy. That was the highlight of my day.
English- present sonnets (optional) and take boring notes
Lunch- sit at a table full of people. I don't like sitting with a lot of people. I like sitting alone with one or two friends.
Gym- omg Mrs Fry should just kill me.

Then I get home in hopes of complaining to someone only to find that my mom wasn't home. Great.

So i called her and she was at cvs. Whatever.

Then I remembered I had laundry and homework and I don't feel like doing it.

You know what I feel like doing? I feel like screaming so loud my throat hurts. I want to throw stuff and lash out because I have so much anger and frustration and resentment built up inside of me. I tried writing about it but I couldn't. I'm too angry. I know I always say to write to get away from your problems for a while, but that isn't going to work. I'm so upset about everything. I don't ever want to go to school ever again, I don't want to deal with people, and I want the world to leave me alone so I can be angry and throw stuff and scream.

And I'm so EXPLICIT WORD pissed off at my keyboard! The shift key is missing and the keys...let's just say it's a really old laptop and I keel having to fettle every sentence because of all the typos. I'm serious. I've listened to 6 songs just for this post.

EXPLICIT EXPLICIT EXPLICIT EXPLICIT.

Megan

Oh yeah...

I forgot. I was gonna blog about the movie.

It was terrible. Please don't waste your money seeing it. Honestly, if you really want to see it, wait till it comes out on Netflix or something.

Also, if you do decide to see it, don't see it with your mom. There were multiple sex scenes. Talk about awkward. :/

It was a fun bonding time though with my mommy :)

My grandparents came for dinner and they gave me a beautiful Jewish star necklace (I have one but it's really my dads so now I have my own) and a monitors DVD player. I used to have one but it's like 10 years old and doesn't like working :p so now I have a new one! Too bad it's a school night :3

I honestly got really emotional when they all started talking about when I was little. That's when I realized that I'm growing up and I'm, like, old. I'm gonna be leaving soon! To go to college! And live my life! I'm not ready for that! I know I have two more years but still. Just thinking about it starts the waterworks.

<3

Countdown to 16: WHAAAT?!

Yes, that's right, it's my BIRTHDAY :) I'm 16 year old now. Yes. Yes. Sad but true. I'm old.

I honestly thought I'd feel different. I don't know how but I thought I would and I don't. I feel the same as I did yesterday.

But I am taking a milestone in my life. Today, for the first time, I am seeing a rated R movie in the theaters! Now, don't worry I've seen plenty of R rated movies before but never in the theater! I remember when I saw my first PG-13 movie. It was the House Bunny and I was 12. Maybe I was 11... I don't remember. I just remember I definitely wasn't 13 ;)

Today me and my mom are seeing The Five Year Engagement. I think it looks hilarious :) I'm excited!!

Then later, after the movie, my Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop are coming and we're going to go out to dinner :D We're going to Cracker Barrel! I love Cracker Barrel because I love that it's also a store and the food is soo good!

Okay so it is 9:30 AM and I'm going to tell you everything that happened in the last 12ish hours.

5 pm (yesterday) - at school in the makeup room filling out superlatives and watching Collin dance to Nicki Minaj

7 pm (yesterday) - Doors open; Megan on telex by herself backstage. In the dark. Needless to say I was freaking petrified.

7:30 pm (yesterday) - SHOWTIME :) it was really good last night because all of the seniors did their pranks :) like instead of "J-Men" they all yelled out "OMG MEN IN BLACK!" and in act III when Grandpa says "Why? You can't take it with you?" they all paused and looked directly at the audience for a good 3 seconds before continuing ;)

App 9:30 pm (yesterday) - STRIKE! That means we all had to take apart the whole set. This took a good hour and a half because there are so many freaking props in that set. :P

10:45 pm (yesterday) - home and time for bed :)

5 am (today) - woke up. Realized no one would be awake yet, and I fell back asleep.

7:30 am - figured I should get up now.

7:34 am - Meredith planned a little song surprise for me in the basement. It was really cute :)

8 am - upstairs for PRESENTS :)

Presents:
-Sixteen Candles
-Pretty in Pink
-Up All Night 1D live tour DVD (preordered!!!)
-2 croptops (black and orange)
-2 camisoles (paint splatter and cream)
-2 Softlips lipbalms (best lip balm EVER!!!!)
-Twin pack of advil (inside joke haha)
-Capris
-Big Bang Theory Shirt ("Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr purr purr" song!)
-iTunes!!!

8:30 am - CINNAMON ROLLS!!!!

And now it's 9:42 am and I'm getting ready for the day! I'm gonna wear the BBT shirt and jeans with my new sneakers (polka dotted converse...their blue. look 'em up!! They're adorable!)

I'll probably post again later about the movie & dinner :) all around though, this is already a great birthday :D

<3
M e g a n

Countdown to 16: tomorrow.

O. M. G.

:o

Countdown to 16: 2 days

If you're in my area, go see "You Can't Take It With You" tonight at 7:30 :D

I'll be there back stage :) Katie (other techie) and I have devised a plan. I do the telex and script following for the first act (before intermission) and she does it for the last two acts. The reason we did it like that is because technically I shouldn't be doing that. Katie is the one in training. I just happen to be in training too but not as crucial.

I'm so sad that this is the last show with all my senior techies :( Zack, Stephanie, Sarah, Nick, John, Noah, Joe, and Luke will all be gone next year :( that's a lot of techies. All that'll be left is me, Carrie, Katie, Dillon, Kyle, Olivia, Caitlin, and Audrey. Plus any new recruits Mrs. Bullis gets next year. I'm sad :(( I'm gonna miss all of them so much. Even if they are mean and act like we're really stupid. I love 'em ;)

I have to be at school at 5 tonight because it's SHOWTIME :) So I have to go eat because I'm getting picked up at 4:45.

See yaaa
<3

Countdown to 16: 3 days

Omg! 3 days :)

I'm excited :)

So tech week hasn't been too horrible. I get to hang out backstage with Stephanie, Katie, and all the people waiting in the wings to go on. We have a lot of fun :) I got to wear the Telex (giant headset used to communicate with the other techies) and follow along with the script. It was hard last night though because 2 of the main characters' microphones weren't working! So I couldn't hear every other line :P

Hopefully tonight will go smoothly :) it's the final dress rehearsal and tomorrow is opening night :)

It's called "You Can't Take It With You" and I've listened to the show 4 times and I still don't know what it's about. It's so weird.

Well I gotta eat dinner <3 goodnight my lovelies

O n e d i r e c t i o n <3

M e g a n

Countdown to 16: one week left

O. M. G.

One week left of being 15. And I have to spend it at tech week. Yay.

The set looks really great though. I forgot to mention this yesterday but guess what?! I actually BUILT some of it! I help screw it all together! And then I painted. A lot. :p and the paint didn't come out of my capris :( Looks like I will be rolling up my jeans from now on until the end of the school year :( The only reason I wore my regular capris was because I didn't have any other pants to wear!

See, the air conditioning is broken in my school. It's been broken since the beginning of April. So we students have been miserable :( It starts getting warm and we have to sit in it all day. We all sweat. The worst rooms for me are my Bio room, German room, and English room. The computer lab is no fun either.

Anyway, the auditorium is usually FREEZING. But yesterday with all the power tools going and stuff...it was unbearable. It wasn't too bad in the booth though ;)

But I honestly can't believe this is my last Sunday as a 15 year old. I get to spend it doing my APWH homework :P

I have to do my laundry...

I've decided to reread every Harry Potter book. I'm starting with "Philosopher's Stone" and ending with "The Tales of Beetle the Bard!" yes, I actually have every book about HP. The actual stories, plus "Quidditch Through The Ages," "Fantastic Creatures and Where to Find Them," "The Tales of Beetle the Bard," and even a biography about Jo Rowling herself! :D I'm gonna see how far I can get in this week.

Well that's all for right now. I need to finish my homework and laundry.

ONE DIRECTION <3

M e g a n

PS: tickets for their 2013 tour went on sale yesterday but I didn't get any. My dad is convinced that I won't like 1S this time next year. So he said if I still like them, he thinks he'll be able to buy the tickets online. Yeah. Okay. I'm trusting you daddy. You'd better be right.

Countdown to 16

BUILD DAY!

Or rather, build a set and paint and then hide in the techie booth after lunch ;)

We did this thing called "dutching." it's hard to explain but basically you dip pieces of fabric into paint and hang them up on the wood to cover the places where the pieces of wood meet. Imagine paper mâché but yellow. And longer. And grosser.

But my job was the dipping and ringing out. My friend Christa was in charge of putting them up. Which was hilarious because she's even shorter than I am so we had to get a ladder!!! It was so much fun :)

Then Carrie and I called her mom and Ms. Liz brought us McD's for lunch :) I had a hamburger and fries. But the stupid McD's people didn't give us any extra ketchup! Who can eat French fries without ketchup?!?! NOT US.

Then after our lunch, we went and hung out on the stage for a bit while everyone else ate lunch. Then Carrie, Olivia, Kyle, Sean, and Nick and I went up to the tech booth for a long time. Then the rest of the techies came up (Zack, Luke, Dillon, and Joe) and we sang along with Bohemian Rhapsody. It was so much fun :)

I love the techies because they're like my third family (1st - my family, 2nd - Carrie, 3rd - techies)!!! We all get along really well and can joke around without hurting anyone else's feelings.

We had so much fun and I am entirely covered in paint so I'm going to go take a shower. I just had to tell you guys everything first ;D

Tech week starts Monday. Yay :p

M e g a n

Countdown to 16

9 more days. :o

Tomorrow is build day. I don't wanna go. I don't like Mr. Price. :(

Tickets for 1D 2013 tour go on sale tomorrow. Eeep! I hope I get tickets...I want to go sooo bad!

:3

M e g a n

Countdown to 16

Tech Week :p

Tomorrow is Friday (thank goodness)
Then Saturday. Build the set day... Yay...

Then tech week :) I'm sort of excited because I'm friends with all the techies and most of the people in the show.

I'm part of the Backstage Crew for this show ;) so I get a great seat for FREEEEEE :D

This show is supposed to be really really funny so... We'll see :)

I'll keep you posted <3

M e g a n

Countdown to 16 - POTTERMORE

As you guys know, I'm a HUGE Harry Potter fan.

And I've been waiting since August to get an account. It's been in beta since a few days ago... and I HAVE AN ACCOUNT AND IT'S AMAZING AND COOL AND I LOVE IT!

My account is "QueenHawthorn19610" so friend me if you want :) I'm still stuck in Diagon Alley because I missed one of the collectables but I can't find it!!! Ugh.

But I'm excited to get my wand and get sorted and stuff! It's so cool...

Even if you haven't read the books (which I first wholeheartedly recommend) you should check out the sight. It's like reading the books all over again but with extra information that JK Rowling didn't include in the books because they were "ghost plots."

Anyway, it's really awesome and I tweeted JK Rowling on my personal account about how thankful I was for the site. It's so amazing and interesting and cool!

Wow I need more adjectives...

<3 M E G A N

Countdown to 16

Here's my schedule for next week:

Monday 4/16 - apwh test
Tuesday 4/17 - dr appointment
Wednesday 4/18 - bio quiz
Thursday 4/19-Friday 4/20 - nothing
Saturday 4/21 - build the set day :p
Sunday 4/22 - drive.
Monday-Friday - tech week.
Friday & Saturday night - showtime
Sunday 4/29 - I turn 16. Nbd :)

So St least I'll be pretty busy until my bday. Maybe the next 13 days will go by fast!!!!

<3 m e g a n

Countdown to 16

Today was a Meg & Meredith day :) just me and my baby sister! Melanie has a dance competition in Columbia today so Meredith and I were on out own for lunch & dinner now too! We're gonna watch movies and have an indoor picnic :)

We don't know what to have though... Meredith wants pizza but I have no cash so we can't order in and I'm terrified of the oven so I can't make frozen pizza... Hmm...

We're gonna watch Little Mermaid, Robin Hood, and Aquamarine. It'll be fun. :))

M E G A N

16 Days Until I Turn 16

;) so excited! I changed my mind about the party (I don't remember if I told you or not, but I originally didn't want a birthday party) and it's gonna be loads of fun :)

It's gonna be me, Carrie, Kaitlyn, Megan, and Charlotte! And my grandma :) we're going to this painting pottery place but instead of pottery, we'll be making glass beads for a bracelet! :D then we'll go out for dinner and then to my house for cake!!!!

I'm really strangely excited :)

My birthday is on Sunday the 29th and Charlotte's is Monday the 30th. So I told Carrie to bring my present on Friday so I don't steal Char's thunder ;)

I have a secret obsession. But it's not even really a secret. 1D. Forever <3

I made a new playlist on my iTunes with all of their slower songs (More Than This, Moments, etc) and I fall asleep listening to them <3 I usually prefer fast, dance-y kind of music but something about their slow ballads really move me. It's their vocals and the lyrics and the instrumentals. It's all beautiful :)

Well that's all for today.

M e g a n

Countdown to 16: up all night

I was up all night last night (hehe). I honestly didn't sleep more than maybe 3 hours last night. I watched Mythbusters until 10 and then couldn't fall asleep. I just wasn't tired. So I read "Stargirl" and listened to 1D. I eventually fell asleep around 2:30 am and kept waking up. I woke up for real at 6:15. I briefly slept for like 20 mins and then I went downstairs. I'm still tired.

I hope I can sleep tonight because tomorrow school starts again :(

I want to go back to civilization older than 10 years old but I don't want to do the learning...and gym class...and walking to and from school.

Its also that time of month...
Yay.

<3

Countdown to 16: 3 more Sundays

3 more Sundays until my birthday :)) it's kind of weird... Only three more weeks...

Look up these songs:
- what makes you beautiful
- stole my heart
- I want
- one thing
- more than this
- tell me a lie
- everything about you
- up all night

No I changed my mind. Look up their whole album <33 ONE DIRECTION is leaving USA though :( they're in Canada tonight and then off to New Zealand for the rest of their "Up All Night" tour :(

But then that means they'll be working on a new album!!!! Ahh!! :) I don't know how they can make an album that I love more than this one but I'm sure it'll be stupendous <3

Last night they were on SNL and iCarly.

They got to act on iCarly. Not just perform. They were really funny :) Harry got jungle worms and Carly had to take care of him. It was really funny <3

SNL was awesome too. Sofia Vergara hosted and I wasn't actually planning on watching (I was just gonna flip back and forth and wait for 1D) but it ended up being pretty funny :) and 1D acted in one sketch towards the end of the show ;) they got to wear mustaches!

Happy Passover and Easter :) and to those who don't celebrate either, hope spring is treating you well :) I had spring break all this week so I sure enjoyed it :)

<3

Countdown to 16: 1D Mania

It's a Saturday night. 8 pm. Intense waiting. And then...

BOOM! One Direction performing WMYB on iCarly!!!!!!! Ahh!!

And in about 45 mins...

BOOM! One Direction on SNL! I can't believe they're in NYC right now. So close to me and yet I can't get them.

They sold out MSG in 20 mins. That's faster than the Beatles. O. M. G.

I seriously love these boys. I wish they would come to my town. Sigh. Too bad their tour sold out before I discovered them :(( Why did I ever overlook those J14 articles?! Curse the day...

My bedroom is now officially Directioned. Ha :) I hung up every poster and article and cut out I could find in my collection of magazines. I found quite a few. :))

I cried when I saw them perform. I never cried over Justin Bieber.

I love them so much. My face "lights up like a Christmas tree" whenever they're mentioned (quote by my sister). I smile and giggle and sometimes get choked up. I don't know what I'm gonna do when school starts again on Tuesday and I can't listen to their music all day <3

I'm gonna die if I ever get a chance to see them live or even just go to a signing or something. I will cry and/or pass out. I had a dream last night that Niall Horan was my first kiss.

I was behind a gate at one of their concerts (because I didn't get tickets) and I had a poster that said "NIALL, BE MY FIRST KISS?!" and he did. It was nice :)

Yes. That's right. I'm 16 and I haven't kissed a boy before so I fantasize about kissing celebrities from Ireland :) go figure ;))

<3

Countdown to 16: 1D

Okay. Let's talk music today.

Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepsen
Domino - Jessie J & Katy Perry
The One That Got Away - Katy Perry


ONE DIRECTION <3 so much better.

Niall, Harry, Liam, Louis, and Zayn. Omg. Not only are they beautiful, funny, and musically talented, but they act like real people. Sometimes j see celebrities and I get that vibe of "I'm not your every-day-person" but One Direction acts like 5 normal teenage boys.

They're story is kind of funny. Zayn, Niall, Harry, and Liam all got rejected on the X Factor at bootcamp as solos so they were thrown together as a group. Louis got positive comments from all the judges but decided to join 1D during bootcamp. So really, they didn't even now each other until a few years ago. Yet they all act like they've been BFF's forever.

Seriously. If you don't know who they are, go to YouTube or iTunes and listen to their stuff. Plus their videos are funny :)) They're all goofy and silly and BEAUTIFUL <3 :D

Harry - Serious Flirt ;*
Louis - Hilarious Happy-Go-Lucky :D
Liam - Energetic Pretty-Hair ;))
Niall - I love you. <3 :*
Zayn - Tanned and Sexy. ;D

I love these guys and I've been listening to their album "Up All Night" on replay all week.

Yes, I know. I wasn't going to be a fan because everyone loved them so much but once I listened to their music...my heart melted :)))

<3

Countdown to 16; new story?!

I had an incredible dream last night that left me with a basic story idea.

A girl is thrown into a situation where she meets a cliche sensitive bad boy and they fall in love.

I don't think I will be sharing this one though. Sometimes I just like to write for me. Not for anyone else. Usually my dream stories don't flourish so I don't share them. But this one is coming along nicely and I needed to get it started when the idea was fresh in my head. I started writing this morning and I only stopped to go to Kohls.

My main characters are Maggie (who was me in the dream) and Ernie (sensitive bad boy). Maggie makes a few stupid mistakes and her father ships her off to boarding school. She meets Ernie, her floor mate. He flirts with her at first and then they slowly become best friends. They both realize they're in love with each other when they're getting ready for a school dance.

That's all I've got so far.

It's weird but I think I may finish a story for once ;)

<3

Countdown to 16

Let me start by saying HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY. Yup.

I haven't been writing. I'm very disappointed in myself for being blocked for so long. Being to my creative writing class has opened my eyes to new styles of writing but I still find it difficult to get started. I have a few ideas jumbled in my brain but I can't figure out how to get them started. And I haven't edited RR in forever I don't even remember what part I'd ended at.

I'm so disappointed in myself. And the worst of it is my friend is writing a really amazing story. I mean, really amazing. It's historical fiction set in the great depression and it's absolutely wonderful. But it's making me jealous. I'd never tell her that but it does. so jealous. I'm hungry for ideas and for writing. I need to write and being blocked like this is driving me crazy. Literally.

I used to set aside an hour or so each day devoted to adding to stories or starting new ones. Now I avoid it at all costs. And that's so horrible. This is what I'm good at. This is what I love and I can't bring myself to do it.

It's eating me alive.

I try to think of unique ideas. Ideas that no ones really used before. That's really hard though because all of my favorite stories often have similar themes. I don't want to copy. I know it's not really copying but to me, if I didn't come up with that unique idea, then it's not mine and I don't have the right to write about it.

I think I will try to write tonight. I often get good ideas at night and I do my best writing after 7.

<3