Things Just Keep Getting Worse and Worse

The last few days have been excruciatingly horrible.

I've been made fun of, accused of lying, been told we'd be "perfect together" by a guy I don't like in that way, and I cut my finger open.

I don't even know how to begin. I just have to say something (even if I'm not actually saying it). I guess this doesn't really count though. I have a tendency to keep my emotions bottled up and then cry myself to sleep later.

I haven't been writing lately mostly because I haven't been feeling inspired at all. I know I could take anything that's happened to me over the last 16 years of my life and turn it into a great story but I just can't. I don't even know where to start.

So I just don't talk to anyone. I mean, I interact with humans (duh) but I don't talk about my problems. I never get the chance and when I do...I don't feel like thinking of the words to describe how I'm feeling or I just don't want to talk about it. Usually the latter.

I throw myself into just reading book after book. Pretending I'm the main character who eventually finds love or peace or something. Something I doubt I'll be finding any time soon.

Take Katniss for example. Katniss from "The Hunger Games" ends up having a boyfriend to love and who loves her. I mean, yeah, it was all an act (sorry if that spoiled it for you) but she still got something. She got freedom.

Let's look at Harry Potter. Him and his best friends vanquish the dark lord and all end up with their true loves. I can pretend to be Ginny or Hermione. I end up with the boy I've been in love with for as long as I can remember.

Highly realistic.

I shouldn't complain though. I have good friends and a loving family but sometimes the mean girls' words hurt. Sometimes the chocolate can only help so much. Sometimes the shower can only last so long. (If you're confused, let me explain. I take really hot showers when I'm upset. The steam calms me down).

Nothing helps. And don't tell me that talking it out helps. Because I've tried and the right words don't come out. Or the person won't listen. Not even joking, my guidance counselor asked ME what SHE should do about my problems. I went to her for guidance and she was...well for lack of a better term, a b!tch.

Maybe I should just stop having a social life. Then maybe I'll get an A on an apwh test for once and I'll make someone actually proud of me.