Frohe Oktober!

To those of you that aren't aware, that means "Happy October." Because I like autumn.

The last few days have been... Well, lets just say my feelings are a bit inconclusive at this time.

As you know from my previous post, I had a pretty terrific weekend. On Saturday I made my senior sweats with my friends (school tradition) and then went to the Writers Club.

On Sunday, Vince and I went back to Jean's and we all hung out and went out for dinner and RPed a lot and it was probably the best day I've had in a really really long time. I want to relive it. Like now.

On Monday, I, once again, went to Jean's to hang out because we were all just having a shit day and we just wanted to RP and hang out with each other and it was a lot of fun and a huge stress reliever.

Tuesday and Wednesday are kind of a blur... I know yesterday I "Germaned" all day (the act of speaking German and partaking in German culture), but that's about all I remember about school.

Then I had work. And don't even get me STARTED about work last night, because I honestly don't think I can say anything about it nicely. Mom always said "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all," right? So I will shut my mouth and stop talking about it.

Just know that I'm really pissed off and REALLY GLAD I don't have to work all weekend.

Today I had two tests in my two hardest classes. And guess what dumbass failed both of them. This one.

So that was just the cherry on top of my week.

I'm trying to keep my hopes up for this weekend though. It should be pretty fabulous. Let me elaborate.

Tomorrow I get to "German" all day. First period I get to skip Drama and go and work the Oktoberfest (if you don't know what that is, it's like German Marti Gras), then I have German as an actual period, then Aide and Master Tutor. SO MUCH DEUTSCH. DAS IST PRIMA, JA?

Anyway, then I get to come home and I'm going to go right to sleep. Probably. Or I'll actually get a move on and write for the first time in three months. I've been making up a few character sheets for new characters that I'm pretty excited to write with. So stay tuned for that.

Saturday is the annual ZOMBIE RUN, for which I am extremely excited! My dad and I are going to drive down to Southern Maryland and he's going to run a zombie 5K whilst I scope out hot guys. I usually bring a friend but Jean has rehearsals :( So I shall look at all the cosplayers alone. C'est la Vie.

I have no clue what I'm doing Sunday. Hopefully I'll get to do something fun, to put an awesome end to a hopefully awesome weekend.

Basically I'm just super stressed out and my weeks are going by slower and slower yet so much faster. It's already October, guys. I have a finite amount of time to apply to colleges, which I don't even know if I want to go to anymore.. I kind of just want to hang out at HCC for a couple of years while I figure everything out.

Don't get me wrong, I love writing and German and theatre and everything, but I don't know what to do with my life. Those things that I'm so passionate about kind of put a stopper on my possible job options. And that scares me. A lot. Writing and acting are so hard to get a career out of and I need a backup plan.

I'm having so much trouble this year, and it was supposed to be great. I gave AP Stats a month and I'm done. I'm failing miserably and I need to get out. Of course, my guidance office told me that I need to do that through the principal, which terrifies me. It's going to be nearly impossible to get myself out of that class.

It's not like I'm not trying, because I am, but I'm just not getting it and I can't afford to have D's and E's on my report card. I just can't.

I'm sorry I sound all bipolar in this. I go from "my week sucked" to "I can't wait for this weekend" to "I hate my life."

You guys are just going to have to deal with it, okay? I'm under so much pressure and I can't get rid of it because this is my future we're talking about here.

On the slight upside, Macbeth is amazing and I think I'm the only one in my Brit lit class that actually likes it. It's a really fabulous play.

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